Friday, December 31, 2010


This is the last day of 2010, and as is the case with most people, I have tried to do some reflecting on the past year.  The year began with family issues and relationship drama, which threw off my whole "2010 is going to be MY year!" mantra that I pretty much repeat every year.  (I'm sure no one can relate.)  Regardless, because one of the greatest life lessons I have learned is resilience, I didn't allow the painful beginning of 2010 to affect my attitude about how the rest of the year would go.  Besides, I started off 2009 with a horrible stomach virus, and it turned out to be a great year - there was (obviously) a spiritual lesson in that virus - this too shall pass!

During this time of the year, we all strive to reflect on our lives and make resolutions about what we are going to do and not do.  Many times, these "resolutions" are the same every year - lose weight, exercise more, stop watching any Kardashian reality show (oh wait, that's personal) - and as we look over our success in living out those resolutions, we find ourselves disappointed in our inability to "get it together".  And truthfully, with resolutions, isn't that really what we're trying to do - "get it together" so that "finally" we can be "happy"?
If you look at the definition and synonyms of resolution, you'll find that we use the word incorrectly.  We act as if a resolution is an action, when it is an attitude or a thought pattern. One of the definitions of resolution is, "the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose." How will we be able to change our life circumstances, or "get it together" in order to be "happy", if we have not determined our purpose?

Purpose is defined as "the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc."  Our purpose, our reason for living, is what we truly seek.  Our first resolution (or mental attitude) should be to STOP the meaningless pursuit of "getting it together" in order to "finally" be "happy".  Once we have determined our purpose, the reason for our existence, and begin to live that daily, joy will come.  Happiness comes with the understanding that sometimes it goes away, because happiness is a temporary emotional state that, if we stay in it too long, can distract us from our purpose.  If we focus on pursuing happiness, it will be elusive, because we were created to discover and pursue our purpose.  If we focus on pursuing our purpose, we'll have joy, which is not a temporary emotional state, but more of an inner knowing that we are living the life our Creator intended for us to live.

With that said, as I continue to pursue my purpose, I take another look at what the word "resolution" means.  One of the definitions is "a solution, accommodation, or settling of a problem, controversy, etc."  In order to be open to the purpose I was created for, I must bring resolution to anything that might remain unresolved in my life.  Any unresolved issues or relationships bring anxiety and confusion, two emotional states that truly distract us from our purpose.  As I look at the past year, I can honestly say that I allowed unresolved issues in my life to slow me down.  Unresolved relationships took an emotional toll on me.  Although I truly experienced many moments of happiness and joy this year, these unresolved issues and relationships sometimes (alright, many times) overshadowed those moments. 

I am determined not to allow this to continue to happen.  What does this mean?  Based on the lessons I've learned in 2010, I've made some promises to myself that will lead me closer to my purpose in 2011:
  • I will not want more for others than they want for themselves.
  • I will leave unresolved relationships & situations in 2010.
  • I will continue to love others, but will be more discriminating about who I give my heart to.
  • I will trust that God has better for me than what I've been trying to hold on to.
With the understanding that I am just a mere human being, prone to mistakes and full of flaws, I walk into 2011 determined to be more of who I was created to be.